This morning when I jumped on the scale I weighed 165 (75kg). Which is surprising because I had a little binge pity party last night. I was finding food to eat for my restriction day 5 (for today), and then all of a sudden it was like a black out, but when I woke up from it I had spaghetti sauce all over my face, like a manic. I was putting spaghetti sauce on crackers then putting a piece of cheese on the top and eating that. Oh it was madness, then, thankfully I took my laxative that morning, I pooped. Not a lot but it happened, and right after too. Well after that I decided to stay upstairs and collect myself and just decide what to eat upstairs. Well that made complications for me, because I scheduled myself to eat 2 hard boiled eggs without the yoke (15.5 cals each) And we have no eggs. Actually we have barley any food but the vegge box in my fridge is full, so that's good, I just wish i had a more official cal count. So when I went downstairs I ate half my lunch for my breakfast. Oh and last night I went in to some crazy lady mode after my binge I ran upstairs and drew all over my stomach, lines where my ribs and hip bones should be showing and things like fat ass, I'm laughing now but only because I really think I am crazy now.
I also listed presents I would buy myself when I get to each goal weight. This next goal weight I get new boots! Which I def need eek my FAVORITE shoe store Idk if they have this shoe store every where but they do in the U.S. and this store makes me weak in the knees. I wonder if I should post my rewards under my about me or something.
I think I would loose weight faster if I add in working out to my agenda. I just get so faint when I run and usually all I do, all day, is sit in bed and write poetry and try to steer clear of the fridge. So I've been thinking that I would take pole dancing classes again. I've taken them before but I was fat at my highest weight of 183 and somehow I still managed to get my muscles toned in my legs, back and arms and I started to notice that lately my arms are getting really flabby and gross so I need it. I just talked to the Instructor and she gave me a great deal hurray!! I will start there in January in the new year!
Food Intake:
100 cal Tuna, mustard, salt and pepper. (there is no calories in mustard!!!)
100 cal Coffee
okay I just took 2 shots of nasty nasty cheap takka
how many calories is that who knows
going to get drunk
luke is an ass hole I am kinda drunk now
soo I will tell y'all the situation tomorrow.
damn that is so cool! i did pole dancing once in high school and its so much fun hey?! i'm also going to be joining the gym in the new year, well i am part of a gym but its too close to mu mom you know?
ReplyDeleteas for the guys, screw them! well... not literally (but that works too hehe)
just get yourself a vibrator, say fuck you and focus on your goals, and when you show you nolonger interested, then they will line up at your door and you can pick and choose. just remember... you are wonderful! and no one deserves to make you feel otherwise. stay strong gorgeous :)