Day 3 and update about the boy.

Okay let me start off by saying I know I only have 5 followers but never ever have I had so much support and love and things in common with people. Ah it really just makes me so happy to know that there are people who will look out for each other, even comment when all I wanted to talk about was J haha.

Another person has joined the fast, and it makes me want to succeed so much more. Last night I almost broke down and ate, I live with my dad still and man whatever he was cooking, I almost died. Never have I spelt something so tempting and ughh. But thank God for bath tubs. Any time I feel tempted to eat I go and take a long bath or shower until my head is clear. And it works and when I got out of the bath tub the smell was gone. This morning when i weighed myself I was finally at 168. Oddly enough being at 168 has been much more of a satisfaction then me reaching my first goal weight at 170. My collar bones are starting to show a little bit and my thighs look smaller. Usually I only concentrate on my stomach so it was a big difference when I looked at my thighs because I hadn't noticed them shrinking.  
Where are my hip bones? I can't find them, I think there lost in all this fatassery aka my bulging stomach.
-Ahh smart words from fading figure herself.-

Today i feel like a comedian, which I probably am not as funny, as I think I am. I'm just in a good mood from all the support. Haha so please take my bad jokes.

I don't think I am going to church tonight its so hard to avoid the food after, because my friends and I all go to someones house (usually T's house) were something yummy smelling is always in the oven. I mean my relationship with God has been nonexistent for the past year, I just go for my friends because they really care about me, and my dad doesn't usually show his love in hugs and kisses and they do. And that's how I show my love so I love to be around them. I don't want to represent myself as religious because that would be a lie, I go to church for the love and fellowship only. Not because I am holy. Which I wish I still was, its just complicated though.

Okay so I didn't get to read any comments from last night so, I ended up taking Dylphe's advice. I might of been too blunt but idgas (i don't give a shit).
I said exactly this: Because I'm confused if you want to hang out with me or fuck me. Sorry for being blunt but I can't figure you out.
Haha if that's not blunt then Idk what is. He replied with I'm not just trying to fuck you, I want to be your friend, I don't have a lot of good friends right now blah blah blah but I'm not looking for a relationship or anything. If you feel uncomfortable with hanging out with me tomorrow then you can cancel that's fine, blah blah blah.
Then I said no i don't want a relationship either I just didn't know what to expect from you because that's how most guys act.
And then we proceeded to talk about our plans which were supposed to hang out today. I'll let him text me first. Oh and he sent me this website to go listen to his music that he wrote. He said that he isn't a writer but I am haha I see a duet in our future. I took singing lessons for 8 years. I don't think he knows but its something we have in common. And you always sing better and can hold notes out longer when your on an empty stomach.

Anyways I'll probably update tonight. Lets hope I don't fall for him, because the pushing away process will began. And I need him as a distraction from not eating.

Listening to: The Band Perry- If I Die Young