I remember

I remember the days when I could cut so deep into my legs or wrist that it would release all of my pain, now I have to be a grown up I have to deal with my problems, and I don't handle different emotions well, I just want to slide that blade across my wrist across my neck, I just want to be done, done with life, breathing, eating, I want to be done. I just want to drift from my body and float up to the ceiling and watch myself. I want to take a whole bunch of sleeping pills and sleep forever, I don't want to die I just want to sleep I'll just sleep. Safe and sound, safe from the world safe from myself. Soundless but peacefully tucked away forever, eternity, sleeping, dreaming. My blade is touching my skin, I feel alive again, I'm depressed, I try to fake happy but every once and a while it catches up to me, I try to push it away but it rapes my head and warps it with thoughts, too much thinking, to much mind fucking, thank you depression, I just want to be weightless and float up to the sky and then to space and explode from the lack of oxygen. I want this. I want this, I can't have it, story of my life.

I'm sorry I'm so depressed school, was awesome everything was awesome my life, it sucks. My dad sucks. I hate living here. He knows I carry peoples burdens and get depressed and he told me anyways. I think I'll just jump out of my window tonight and sleep with the stars.