My first year of college, I'm fresh meat.
The burlesque show went awesome:
I was super drunk, and after it ended I decided to go out with the other demo girls and other students and the owner of the dance studio. Well first of all the bar was 21 and up and I had to use my sisters i.d. I rode with one of the other demo girls and her brother, who I could tell was into me. Then he started drinking more and started treating me like shit, the whole night is really a blur, but I remember he kept telling me to shut the fuck up and that he was going to cut my throat, He was obviously trying to play the ass hole card the whole reverse psychology and it wasn't working for me, well at least not drunk me. Well then we sat down at our table in the club and he then proceeded to try to make me believe he was a somebody and just stupid shit. Well then I tried to get up and walk away and he would grab my wrist and pull me back down and I was actually kind of scared of him, I remember, so for most of the night I just did what I was told. Except kiss him, Really I think no is my new favorite word. I feel soo empowered when I use it. His sister is my friend I'm not going to kiss or sleep with her younger brother (even if there only 14 months apart). I mostly like now that I'm sober how he treated me, the ass hole thing does work haha, I like how he would put his arm around me when we were sitting at the table and pull me in close, or when we were standing talking to someone and he had his hand, kind of holding my neck. Or when we dancing he would pull me how he wanted me to be, BASICALLY, he man-handled me, and in all honesty I wouldn't mind man-handling again. ;)
Okay back to the story, We left all 3 of us, Him, his sister/my friend, and me. His sister and I didn't realize how drunk he was, we ended up getting pulled over by the police, and almost got arrested the cop took my fake i.d. away and she surprisingly let us go, Of course there were guide lines, His sister had to drive his car, I couldn't go back to my car but back to there house with them, if I was seen again that night I would be arrested. First of all I told her brother that I would not go home with him and now I had too? I rather take my chances so I went with them to there house and after that his sister drove me to my car and I surprisingly made it home and not to jail. Anyways when I got home he called me and we fought nonstop for 1 hour and 45 minutes, I have never been so angry in my life, actually I'm never angry so this feeling was not new but not recognized and it gave me an Adrenalin rush, I could tell he would be good in bed. Now I'm just waiting for him to call or text me. I'm not going to call or text him, I never do that.
Anyways its way past my bedtime, my new school bed time.
so fucking nervous, inspire me, make me feel better and give me feedback on this douchey kid who i have sexual chemistry with.
p.s. fasting tomorrow (did I already mention that?)
Love always, Fading figure
Good luck at college. I remember how I felt starting uni, and I promise you'll be fine!!
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