It didn't happen all at once, the weight gain, it took a while, 2 years of not stepping on a scale, saying I don't give a fuck what people think, and best of all not caring what I ate or when I ate. I used to be so thin and I gave it all up for what to be happy? This is very questionable. I was not happy 1 month ago, I was fat and starting to notice stretch mark on my hips. Somethings gotta give. I might have recovered but I always had ana in my heart, just taunting me behind the corner waiting for my next move. Now I have gracefully come back to her. I started with a 3 day fast after I successfully completed that I ate 1 day then moved on to another fast. 3 days was the plan and I failed making it a 2 day fast. After that fail I did a 5 day fast, Today is day 5, on this rather warm thanksgiving eve. I have prepared for this day, I plan to eat tomorrow and drink with my family, but no worries because every house has a toilet. This coming up Saturday I plan to be empty enough to do a saltwater flush. After all the fast I now weigh a nasty 173. 10lbs lighter but still not enough to even call myself ana's best friend just yet. I am so ashamed but very positive at the same time and I am ready to move on. I WILL fix this number. I only hope for your support and not your judgment. I know the harm I am doing to my body and this is NOT a pro-ana/mia site. I wouldn't spread this disease on anyone. I've been battling this war since I was 13 and it is not fun, it will not help you find a boyfriend, increase your confidence, or even make you pretty, its an ugly disease and blah blah blah. You get it.
love fat ass
Some thinspiration for your hungry eyes:
Some thinspiration for your hungry eyes:
omg read yr about me and this introduction and i was like whoooah stole the words right out of my mind !!! i basically woke up this year and the scales were like hey miss fatty yr 192pounds. there's no way but skinny ... i'll b avidly following, good luck x
ReplyDelete